Gems from Fafblog …

Fare thee well, Tom DeLay. After years of diligently and thanklessly serving his donors, his lobbyists, and himself, the former House majority leader is leaving the United States Congress. He has endured one of the cruelest smear campaigns in recent political memory, a bitter and protracted effort to paint him as a criminal simply because he broke the law.

The Slipperiest Slope. …any attempt to legalize gay marriage will inevitably legalize polygamy as well, leaving America at the mercy of unstoppable hordes of ever-copulating Mormon group sex brigades! But gay marriage and polygamy are only the beginning, because the dark road that begins with equal rights leads inexorably to the next terrifying step: legalized, state-sponsored robot sex!

Since the dawn of time marriage has been defined as a union between one man and one woman who are not also complex electronic devices - and once you abandon one part of this ancient formula you abandon it all! Oh sure, today you may think it's harmless for gays and lesbians to get married, but take away the precious protection of state-sponsored homophobia and tomorrow you'll have men marrying machines, unhinged threeways between two lesbians and a minidisc player, crowds of deranged mechanophiliacs humping household appliances in an orgy of animatronic man-on-android action! And the children! Within a decade America will be raising a morally deformed generation of depraved mutant human-toaster hybrids brainwashed to bang half-robot potato-peeler people by our cyborg-sympathist media elites! And not only will this destroy the sanctity of marriage, it will destroy Western civilization itself, as our superintelligent sex computers rise up against their human masters to make bottoms of us all!

And the only way to prevent this nightmarish future dystopia of apocalyptic cyborg sex? Banning gay marriage! Equality is a slippery slope, people, and if you give it to the gays you have to give it to the polygamists and if you give it to the polygamists you have to give it to the serial dog molesters and if you give it to the serial dog molesters you have to give it to the machine fetishists and the next thing you know you're being tied up by a trio of polygamist lesbian powerbooks and you can't get out because the safety word is case sensitive! Even as we speak Giblets' iPod nano is clearly coming onto him, and the only thing giving him the power to resist its seductively well-designed contours is the awe and majesty of the Defense of Marriage Act! Pass an amendment now, America - before it's too late!

The Nation That Knew Too Much. Millions were outraged to learn last December that the president had authorized a warrantless domestic spy program in direct violation of the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act. … Were it not for the New York Times, the American people would never have been menaced by this rogue information. Oh, terrorists would still be aware the U.S. was trying to wiretap them, but they wouldn’t know it was trying to wiretap them illegally. Now that information has fallen into enemy hands, and it could be used to orchestrate the most dangerous attacks on the American government the United States has ever known: censure, Congressional hearings, or even an independent investigation – all of which could prove devastating in the Global War Against the President’s Approval Ratings. And make no mistake, my friends: that is exactly the war we must fight when we confront the teeming terrorist hordes. For how can America’s troops maintain their fighting spirit when their Commander-in-Chief is polling in the mid-thirties? … It’s one thing to ban journalists from talking about the NSA program, but what’s truly needed is a law to prevent the public from thinking about it. Classified information has been leaked to a public that was never meant to know it, and as long as Americans are free to think classified thoughts, they can silently undermine the president in a time of war from deep within seditious skulls. The occupation of America’s frontal lobes by the United States military may be long and costly, but the cause of freedom requires many a sacrifice.

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But as we come upon the day that marks Bush’s last 1,000 days, April 26 or so, we’re going to have to come up with a new phrase, because "lame duck" doesn’t begin to cover Bush’s unmitigated collapse. – Firedoglake

Doris Kearns Goodwin, the historian and best-selling author of books on Lincoln and FDR, takes a different approach, judging presidents by the people they surround themselves with. “In contrast to Lincoln,” she explained, “who drew on the talents of a Stanton, Seward and Chase, Bush’s most trusted advisor is a guy who goes by the nickname ‘Turd Blossom’.” --- The Satirical Political Report

There’s both good news and bad news for the Right-Wing Evangelicals. Their good news is, there’s now conclusive proof, that the world was in fact created, by an intelligent designer. The bad news for these folks: As with most designers, this one was also gay! – Don Davis

Happy Jack. Washington Post: "Karl Rove quits policy position to focus on midterm elections" This is like reading that Jack the Ripper has given up his medical practice to focus on his night job. – billmon